WHAT TO DO BEFORE YOU SAY" I DO"

ANGELA’s STORY
A lady I choose to call Angela told me a pathetic story of her broken marriage which happened because she married a man in ignorance. Angela that I knew was a very devoted Christian who did not mess around before marriage. She is educated, hardworking and focused in life but it was unfortunate that her marriage did not work. She met a man in church who proposed to her, they met with the pastor of the church and the deacons who asked them to pray; after few weeks, everyone agreed that it was the will of God for them to marry. But during the traditional marriage, it was obvious to me that something was not right with the young man. I advised her on what to do but it happened that they eventually got married. However, from the wedding day until she broke up with him, according to her, she did not enjoy the relationship. He did not have a job, he did not have an accommodation; the man lied and deceived her about his financial status and all that. But that notwithstanding, she was willing to adjust. But the crux of the matter was when he began to abuse her sexually and physically despite the fact that she had a baby for him. Angela vowed never to have anything to do with him anymore; hence she left him and is now remarried. If she had done her home work on the man so as to get background information on him, probably, she would not have been married to him in the first place. Unfortunately, she blamed God for allowing her fall victim of such relationship even after serving him wholeheartedly.
In as much as prayer is important and God has a role to play in guiding us into the right relationship, we need to take responsibility by playing our role. We should not blame God if we land ourselves into trouble due to ignorance or carelessness.
In this time and age when people claim to be what they are not, a time when desperation for material wealth and marital relationship is on the increase, it is important that before you accept to marry someone, do a background check on the person. People can pretend or claim what they are not; there are many wolves in sheep clothing; hence you should know who you are getting married to or else you might get married to a devil in angelic form. I remembered applying for a job in the UK and one of the requirements was to do a criminal record check on me in spite of the fact that I had already specified on a form that I do not have any criminal record. But the organization needed to verify the authenticity of my information. It is also important to note that sometimes God gives us signals or a pointer to the danger lurking ahead but we could be blurred by the emotion of love and excuse our mate believing that such danger signs do not really matter or would phase out with time during marriage. Before you get married to him or her, be certain that you know who he or she is. Let me also state that you do not need to be suspicious in your approach; get to know his or her friends because birds of a feather flock together. Give your relationship some time and see how things unfold. Do not focus on finding out how bad he or she is (because this is what most people do); sometimes our perception influences the result we get. Be positive; be objective.
May God open your eyes to discover the right partner you are searching for.